What do you want to vent about today?

[kiwikrasher]

Who knew??

Me

And Rossgo, I know he’s visited here before.

[kiwikrasher]

Yup room change, mattress appears better on a quick inspection but still pretty firm.

I’m going for the ‘let’s get sloshed and i’ll Sleep anywhere’ approach tonight.

I’m stuck in an office with 2 of my offshore Ops Supervisors, but I did get a visit from our Competency Assurance Advisor, as a Trainer and Assessor being part of my role I talk to her on the phone at least 2-3 times a trip offshore, but I’d never met her. She’s actually a mid 20’s cutie and popped in to say hi and put a face to the name. Poor girl probably felt disappointed to find out I’m a middle aged has been

[Rossgo]

Who knew??

Me

And Rossgo, I know he’s visited here before.

Absolutely loved Oz. My mate still lives over there and has worked all over Oz now, from cities to the out back. Defo got to go again!

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[Rossgo]

Yup room change, mattress appears better on a quick inspection but still pretty firm.

I’m going for the ‘let’s get sloshed and i’ll Sleep anywhere’ approach tonight.

I’m stuck in an office with 2 of my offshore Ops Supervisors, but I did get a visit from our Competency Assurance Advisor, as a Trainer and Assessor being part of my role I talk to her on the phone at least 2-3 times a trip offshore, but I’d never met her. She’s actually a mid 20’s cutie and popped in to say hi and put a face to the name. Poor girl probably felt disappointed to find out I’m a middle aged has been

Hope you got some kip though kiwi. She sounds lovely, defo wouldn't complain if a mid 20s girl was popping in to see me

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[Cav]

Fiancé and my Mother...

This is a rant post, feel free to laugh about it because you aren't in this situation.

The two have never really gotten along but at the moment they aren't talking and my mum is refusing to meet with her to talk things through. What's more, my Fiancé is visiting the venue for the last time before the wedding day tomorrow to run through timings of the music for the ceremony, placement of things, show bridal party and groomsmen around the venue etc. My mum really wants to go but my Fiancé (rightly so IMO) hasn't invited her because they aren't talking.

I've got my mum in my ear saying, "it's wrong I'm not allowed to go".

I've got my Fiancé in my ear saying my mum should be doing this that and the other.

I've told my mum she needs to talk to my Fiancé and that I think it's fair enough she isn't invited.


I even met my mum last week to discuss everything and after 3 hours we had gone through most stuff but nothing was actually resolved.

I feel like I want to explode to be honest. With the inherent stress of planning a wedding, money stresses, the loss of two dogs I loved dearly, and everything else that goes on in life I can't be dealing with more shit because two people don't get along. I've said my piece to my mum and told my Fiancé she needs to message her if my mum hasn't messaged before the end of the day.

Jesus-fvcking-christ people !!!!

[Kwacky]

Mate, this could be a page from my life story.

My mum loves falling out with people. My mum pulled the same stunt as your mum when my brother got married. In the end his wife told her she wasn't invited

[duke63]

Hope you get it sorted, cav. Nothing worse than two different parts of a family not getting on.

[Cav]

I have told my fiancé she can do what she wants in regards to my mum except for uninviting her from the wedding and removing her from the top table - if she doesn't want my mum in the bridal party I won't stop her but my Dad won't be at my wedding for his poor decisions so I don't want to be without my Mum there.

Kwacky, I dunno if my mum loves falling out with people but she's very good at it. Also, my fiancé is incredible at holding grudges - probably her worst trait - and that almost certainly plays a part in this.

F*cking people.. grr

[D41]

It's your wedding just as much as your fiance's...and your Mum is going to be part of your life for a long time to come...and the same goes for your Mum re: your wife----'cos that's what she's going to be, whether Mommy likes it or not.

All they need to do is set aside their differences for one day---just one day....they don't have to be instant best friends...just cordial, civil & polite.

Nice knowing you.

[kiwikrasher]

Second bed was a shite sleep too. Went and bought a foam topper today so i didn’t have to spent a 3rd night on the couch

[C00kiemonster]

Fiancé and my Mother...

This is a rant post, feel free to laugh about it because you aren't in this situation.

The two have never really gotten along but at the moment they aren't talking and my mum is refusing to meet with her to talk things through. What's more, my Fiancé is visiting the venue for the last time before the wedding day tomorrow to run through timings of the music for the ceremony, placement of things, show bridal party and groomsmen around the venue etc. My mum really wants to go but my Fiancé (rightly so IMO) hasn't invited her because they aren't talking.

I've got my mum in my ear saying, "it's wrong I'm not allowed to go".

I've got my Fiancé in my ear saying my mum should be doing this that and the other.

I've told my mum she needs to talk to my Fiancé and that I think it's fair enough she isn't invited.


I even met my mum last week to discuss everything and after 3 hours we had gone through most stuff but nothing was actually resolved.

I feel like I want to explode to be honest. With the inherent stress of planning a wedding, money stresses, the loss of two dogs I loved dearly, and everything else that goes on in life I can't be dealing with more shit because two people don't get along. I've said my piece to my mum and told my Fiancé she needs to message her if my mum hasn't messaged before the end of the day.

Jesus-fvcking-christ people !!!!

Sounds a bit like my first wedding. It can become a circus with everyone thinking they should be involved.

The only people it concerns in terms of arrangements etc is you and future Mrs Cav. IT IS YOUR DAY. Give your mum a job to do and tell her to stick to that. If Fiance doesnt want mum there for meetings then tough.

You have to live with Future Mrs Cav for many years to come, not your mum. I had to tell my mum to back off and some home truths.

I'll be honest it is up to you to manage the relationship with your mum and future Mrs Cav. Its your fiance's dream day, so leave her to do most of the organising. Your a bloke so should do what you can, turn up, say I do, do some embarrassing dancing and cut a cake. Then realise it was a lot of money and it all passed too quickly.

Your welcome


Oh and good luck

[StMarks]

Never been married myself Cav, so my twopenn'orth hasn't the poignancy others can bring to this subject.
However I have had to cope with my parents not approving of various of my girlfriends & visa-versa.
Very stressful and will be divisive if not carefully managed.
You have warned me before that your family may not manage your own level of moral integrity, so the approach that I found worked best for me, may not work so well in your case. (I could never aspire to the level of morality my parents maintained).
Nonetheless...
I spoke to each party individually, and pleaded my case to them that they accept my (family/choice) because that was who I was / had chosen I played on their attachment to me & to their ego/vanity suggesting that if they truly cared for me they would find a way make to see past their prejudices & build a positive relationship for my sake.

Imo if you allow the situation to persist, it will expose you to constant stress & likely alienate either your family or your beloved (been there,,).

Hth.

[bb41]

My advice is pretty pointless as I've done it twice..... Cancel the big wedding and get married away from everyone... then have a party later on down the line.

I've never had a big wedding and all arranged in 6 weeks both times.

life too short and if it goes Pete Tong because of outside pressures then at least you won't have wasted too much financially

I'm just a big softie

[Frankie]

Oh Dear Mate I feel for you, the two worst people not to be getting on..... try and nip it in the bud.... this will be a nightmare for ever more unless it is.

[Kwacky]

A little personal wedding and a party later on is what we did and I couldn't have been happier. Like Cookie says, people forget whose day it is.

[kiwikrasher]

We escaped to Fiji, invited 30 and 12 turned up. Great way to get only those that really want to be there to turn up. Was way cheaper than doing it in Aussie. Absolutely everything including a 10 day honeymoon was AU$10K. In hindsight I’m glad I didn’t spend more.

As for the mum and missus.... I’d side with which one gives you blow jobs

[D41]

[Rossgo]

Cav - very difficult situation to be in. Can't offer advice to be honest. All I can say its it's your wedding. Enjoy the day. Dont let anything or anyone spoil it. Plus your lady and your mum don't have to be best friends in my opinion. Yes makes things easier but not end of world. All they got to do is keep it on lock for 1 day

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[Cav]

Thank you all for your messages. I have literally tried everything I can possibly think of with my mum to get her to talk to my fiancé and it hasn't worked.

I was not in a good place last night and everyone around me could see it.

I asked my fiancé to message my mum, asking her to say her peace in a very level way but to offer an olive branch and invite my mum to the venue with her today at the end of the message. She did that and I'm unaware of any response so far. We have given her every opportunity to be involved previous to this and we're still being the bigger people by inviting her to the venue for a tour and dry run of the day. If my dad wasn't such a d!ck and was coming to the wedding I would be much happier about tell my mum to do one and not come, but it's hard enough that one of my parents isn't going to be there to then shun her too.

Our original plan was to have a 20 people or less foreign wedding and honeymoon but they key people I wanted there wouldn't travel. It was that important to us that we made it a UK wedding (we are actually glad we chose to do this as we love the venue). It would have saved us about £8k if we got married abroad too.

I'm a lot better today than I was last night - today I just feel numb and done with people's bullsh!t. If she responds to my fiancés message in an angry manner I feel I may retaliate with uninviting her from the wedding, I just don't know if I would regret that later. One thing no one can say about me is that I lash out or get hot headed but I do fear it may happen soon.

In better news, we found our first dance song last night

[Kwacky]

In better news, we found our first dance song last night

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_cont ... KmG6zkADW8[/video]