Tank Slap - Motorcycle Forum

I woke up with a black eye this morning. It's not the first time it's happened, although it's been a long while.
It's not particularly painful, just a long black bruise over my left cheekbone. I have absolutely no idea how it got there.
Very strange.

I also woke with a black eye today, and a grazed cheek bone and a massive headache.

Byron woke with a suspected broken toe, swollen and bruised, which needed a doc consult today. X-Ray in 3 days if it doesn’t improve.

One is related to the other. Last night there was a difference in opinion on his homework effort and completion. So I proceeded to remove electronic devices until he’d done said homework properly.

His phone was in his pocket and wouldn’t give it to me, so with him sitting on the bed and leant in to get it. He rocked back on his back and kicked out at me. First time he’s lashed out at me for ages.

Eventually a knee across his thighs and a knee in his chest and I extracted the phone successfully.

Funnily enough compliance was realised very shortly afterwards.

Living with an ASD teen is never dull.

That sounds tough but I would guess he needs a firm hand.

I would have done the same I suspect.

C00kiemonster wrote:That sounds tough but I would guess he needs a firm hand.

I would have done the same I suspect.

He was snuggling with trig, so I helped him out. They have a digital work book to complete each day so if he can’t get it done he regularly gets me to help and I can usually get the learning done at home.

But during the session it was obvious he didn’t have a clue about pythagoras theorem which was the days before workbook he’d completed at 100%

When I quizzed him on how that happened it turns out he just copied someone at school.

So I said we needed to work though that worksheet at well so he learnt it. In his mind, it was complete so I was making him “do more work for nothing”

So when he wouldn’t agree to do it after some discussion I said there was an electronics ban till he did.

It was when I was going for his phone as he was sitting on the bed he rolled back and let me have it with his feet. When I got the feet under control he laid into me with his fists. I had to pop a couple of solid hits to his chest to get him to see reason and stop.

He’s 2” taller than me now and surprisingly strong. I haven’t taken hits to the melon that hard since my 20’s.

kiwikrasher wrote:

C00kiemonster wrote:That sounds tough but I would guess he needs a firm hand.

I would have done the same I suspect.

He was snuggling with trig, so I helped him out. They have a digital work book to complete each day so if he can’t get it done he regularly gets me to help and I can usually get the learning done at home.

But during the session it was obvious he didn’t have a clue about pythagoras theorem which was the days before workbook he’d completed at 100%

When I quizzed him on how that happened it turns out he just copied someone at school.

So I said we needed to work though that worksheet at well so he learnt it. In his mind, it was complete so I was making him “do more work for nothing”

So when he wouldn’t agree to do it after some discussion I said there was an electronics ban till he did.

It was when I was going for his phone as he was sitting on the bed he rolled back and let me have it with his feet. When I got the feet under control he laid into me with his fists. I had to pop a couple of solid hits to his chest to get him to see reason and stop.

He’s 2” taller than me now and surprisingly strong. I haven’t taken hits to the melon that hard since my 20’s.

dont admit any pain..

Like in any relationship unit - especially with males there needs to be a pecking order - especially if its ultimately for their own good. Conversation and discussion only goes so far.

I think as long as your defending and not attacking and it's proportionate it may make him think. You are the parent after all.

Kids eh?

C00kiemonster wrote:

kiwikrasher wrote:

C00kiemonster wrote:That sounds tough but I would guess he needs a firm hand.

I would have done the same I suspect.

He was snuggling with trig, so I helped him out. They have a digital work book to complete each day so if he can’t get it done he regularly gets me to help and I can usually get the learning done at home.

But during the session it was obvious he didn’t have a clue about pythagoras theorem which was the days before workbook he’d completed at 100%

When I quizzed him on how that happened it turns out he just copied someone at school.

So I said we needed to work though that worksheet at well so he learnt it. In his mind, it was complete so I was making him “do more work for nothing”

So when he wouldn’t agree to do it after some discussion I said there was an electronics ban till he did.

It was when I was going for his phone as he was sitting on the bed he rolled back and let me have it with his feet. When I got the feet under control he laid into me with his fists. I had to pop a couple of solid hits to his chest to get him to see reason and stop.

He’s 2” taller than me now and surprisingly strong. I haven’t taken hits to the melon that hard since my 20’s.

dont admit any pain..

Like in any relationship unit - especially with males there needs to be a pecking order - especially if its ultimately for their own good. Conversation and discussion only goes so far.

I think as long as your defending and not attacking and it's proportionate it may make him think. You are the parent after all.

Kids eh?

That was my mindset but I’ve been second guessing myself a lot today, it’s not been a great day.

Having a brother-in-law with severe ASD reading this and the logic you explain makes complete and total sense.

You handled it well I think, it must be horrible to have to do what you did but it doesn't sound dissimilar to my BiL. He has pulled teachers to the floor by pulling their hair. There was one time when he threw a small child off the top of a bouncy castle.

Don't go second guessing yourself mate.. take it on the chin and move on. The fact you came out on top now he's bigger should keep him from doing it again for a long while.

The ride into work has kicked off my hayfever. I've got two very red and very itchy eyes. I look even more delightful than usual.

Kwacky wrote:The ride into work has kicked off my hayfever. I've got two very red and very itchy eyes. I look even more delightful than usual.

My hat fever has been worse the last couple of days. Picking the bike up from my brother's didn't help, you tend to ride with the visor open a lot more when it's warmer.

Sent from my ONEPLUS A6013 using Tapatalk

My hayfever has been terrible this month - more so than any time i remember for a while.

Yesterday I had a bit of a breakdown. Everything is fine now Mrs Cav and I talked and we ended up having a fantastic day together.

I've been feeling panic attacks building for the last week or two. 2 days ago I went for an MTB ride which massively helped but yesterday morning I couldn't process anymore and it all came out. I've been trying so hard to be all my Wife needs and while she has been doing exceptionally well I've been struggling mentally. She pointed out everything I've done throughout the pregnancy which has meant she has been able to not stress about anything, which exactly what I've been trying to do. I've simply not given myself credit for the help I have been.

Anyway, once the tears started rolling I had to battle 5 separate panic attacks which was hard. I did it and I was okay soon after but it was horrible. My Wife confirmed everything I know about her and was brilliant.

So to end on a positive, we found a nearby beach on the River Severn and took a walk there.

You've got to take care of yourself. It's not selfish to put yourself first from time to time. I know you've got a lot on but make sure you take time out, don't hide or bottle up your feelings.

I thought I had been to be honest. I've been trying to process my thoughts and emotions daily, thinking that will help me out, but obviously it only delayed it all. That in itself made the breakdown more frustrating because I was taking steps to try and prevent it.

I think I just need to be kinder to myself. I'm my own worst critic and I beat myself up all the time.

Have you had any counselling?

Like Kwacky wrote, you've got to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else. If you're not 100%, then they don't get 100%.
You might think it's selfish - and maybe it is to an extent - but not in a bad way, as the end result is positive all-round.
"Selfish" gets a bad rap these days.

Specifically for my anxiety, no. I've had counselling for my depression previously which was beneficial. I'm genuinely quite good at talking about my feelings, each time it goes wrong it stems from having an emotion or thought which I can't fully comprehend or rationalise.

It’s hard to learn to give yourself credit and self care time, I’ve burnt myself out a number of times.

All I can say is when baby Cav comes, don’t try to be the perfect parent, prioritise time for you both to unwind as well as being everything for your baby and you will be better parents for it.

You're right there!

Thank you mate.. I do plan to keep MTB going and also some more river walks with the Wife for unwind time.

Pleased you've worked a way through it Cav, sounds like you've got some sound advice above too.
Can't really offer anything constructive.
Perhaps though,..: - don't do what I do ( compartmentalise).

Compartmentalising is supposed to be beneficial. I've done that for the big events in my life. It was pointed out to me that you need to "move forward" and not "move on".. essentially it's about taming the Lion to walk by your side rather than pretend the Lion isn't there and getting mauled from behind.