Tank Slap - Motorcycle Forum

It's tough at times, isn't it?

I got home from work to find my daughter all snuggled up on the sofa with a hot water bottle. She said nothing was wrong, just wasn't feeling too well.

I'm pottering about the house and I can hear her take something out of the kitchen. I think nothing of it. I go into the living room and she tells me she's got a stomach bug. We have a chat and I suggest she goes upstairs so not to spread her germs. But I also flag up she's had this bug a couple of weeks before.

Off she goes and I clock she's hiding something. She tries to hide it when I call her out about it. Then she drops it when she's out of sight and comes back to me to prove she's got nothing.

Turns out it's a bag of chocolate biscuits. Bit strange for someone who has been sick and has a stomach bug.

I kick off because she's lied to me. She said she didn't have anything. My kids know they don't lie to me. So I sent her off to her room without her phone.

Before I go to the gym I have a sit down with her. General chat but I sense something is up. I stress she can talk to me about anything and how a small problem will become a big problem if she tries to hide it.

Turns out some chavvy kids don't like the way she dresses or the music she listens to. It's not full on bullying but she's a sensitive soul.

We have a heart to heart and some cuddles.

I fecking hate seeing my kids upset. But at least she knows she can talk to me and I'm here for her.

Your a very lucky man to have such a good relationship with your kids that they can talk to you about things like that.

I'm glad you've manage to work our what was bugging her before it got out of control, hopefully you can explain to her that what this bunch of idiots think doesn't matter one little bit.

Kids can be so cruel.

Glad you got to the bottom of it as now you can help. Always good to talk IMO.

Drop a message to her school tutor... being a teacher I get these emails weekly and it turns out the children responsible for the heartache don't realise the damage they're doing and are genuinely sorry for what they've done. Hope she gets it sorted!

It's great isn't it. I know I moan and winge (a lot) but I wouldn't be without them for all the bikes in Bologna

it is tough you know ive been finding it hard,from an outside observer your kids are well brought up and very well grounded.My Daughter recently refuses to get dressed in the morning for nursery ,it ends in a big arguement every day and im late for work which really stresses me out.I have to admit its getting to me

Thanks for the comment Perkles, appreciated.

I had the same with Alex when he was about that age. He insisted that mummy did everything, he didn't want anything one by me. I stuck at it and after a while he realised he wasn't going to get his own way. But he was a persistent bugger.

same here ,this morning she was lying on the bathroom floor kicking and screaming because i was trying to her clean her teeth,mom walks in she gets up stops crying cleans her teeth and carries on as normal.Kids really know how to push your buttons ,I hope this is just a phase but at times i could strangle her

It is a stage. It took me ages to form a bond with Alex.

Kwacky wrote:Thanks for the comment Perkles, appreciated.

I had the same with Alex when he was about that age. He insisted that mummy did everything, he didn't want anything one by me. I stuck at it and after a while he realised he wasn't going to get his own way. But he was a persistent bugger.

I wonder where he gets that from........

I think daughters are harder, especially for a dad as they are more complex.

She is entering that age where she becomes more distant and a little more devious and independent. Bond all you can before she becomes distant for a few years. It's taken ours about 8 years to start coming back to us emotionally.

You do have a good relationship with your kids, I've seen that and she is a sensitive soul

I'll second Cookies comment about losing them for a while, although it isn't exclusive to girls in my experience, my oldest lad went cold on me at about 15 and I didn't really connect again until about he was about 22-23. I was no different, I couldn't see any common ground between my parents and me until I had a house and children, so tbh I had no grounds for complaining about #1 son behaving like that.

That's rubbish Kwacky!!! When my sister and I were kids we got picked on for not wearing the right clothes etc. as it was just us and our mum so she didnt have the money to go and buy designer clothes, fancy trainers, football kits and so on.

My sister took it a lot harder than me, probably due to me being the biggest kid in the year and I was never shy about sticking one on the nose of whoever took the pee. My sister was 2 years above me in school but I would often end up fighting with the lads in her year sticking up for her.

As Fireblade_Ro said, most of the time I dont think kids intend to cause the resultant unhappiness their name calling/mickey taking causes.

Now that I am a dad, I can relate to you, however being only 2, my little one has not had to deal with that aspect of life yet. The worst I have encountered is watching another kid hit and scratch him at one of the godforsaken indoor play places. Needles to say i drop kicked the kid into the ball pit (well, thats what run through my mind, but I ended up just taking James to another area in there).

Perkles wrote:same here ,this morning she was lying on the bathroom floor kicking and screaming because i was trying to her clean her teeth,mom walks in she gets up stops crying cleans her teeth and carries on as normal.Kids really know how to push your buttons ,I hope this is just a phase but at times i could strangle her

Just keep at it Perkels there just pushing boundaries , the roles are reversed in our house and i have to take my self out of situations or bite my tongue when the Mrs is a round. As my son does things differently with his mum than me.

The Step works wonders but is a pain in the ass at the start but we have stuck with it and it works. Except when i punish him in public places and i either get people looking at me like I'm beating him or mainly old people going up to him and talking to him lol.

And Kwacky i think you have dealt with the situation brilliantly I only hope I have this with my son in later life.

good job weve got our bikes to go and take it out on

Perkles wrote:good job weve got our bikes to go and take it out on

Or the gym a bit of pent up rage works wonders :-)

It's bloody hard Kwacky, but you have a great attitude towards it.

I'm struggling with my boy ATM, he had being doing really well at school despite his ASD but a bit of teasing/targeting him has crept in as the kids age and are becoming aware of his differences. It's now affecting his ability to learn. I've had to book a meeting in with the school while over here on hol's. Nothing take the shine of a trip than wishing you where home to hug your kid better.

I think consistentcy is the key...if you're gonna be a dick, then ar least do it all the time so the kids know where they stand.

Perkles wrote:good job weve got our bikes to go and take it out on

rocket wrote:

Perkles wrote:good job weve got our bikes to go and take it out on

Or the gym a bit of pent up rage works wonders :-)

Amen to both...

I'm fairly certain now I am in my second half century, that bringing up kids will test your patience like nothing else.

Equally the best moments with them are the most rewarding of your life.

Being a parent:

The most heartwarming, funny, stressful, tearful, happy, sad, worrying, elating, fantastic experience ever.