Slapper Thoughts.....??

[D41]

So....this came up recently, and all opinions are welcome.

Mom passed a ways back, and one of the first things Dad did....literally as we walked through the door, was gift my mother's rings to the wife....her 50th anniversary ring, her wedding ring (58 fecking years!!), and her grandmother's ring....been in the family since 1908 or sommit daft.
I'm not stupid, I know they were given to her, so I know where I stand legally....but isn't it a given that stuff like this is "on loan"??? Now she's all "I don't have them"....Mary has never sold a thing in her life, she's never had anything worth selling....don'tcha just keep certain things, and there's a taboo on ever getting rid of them??
Same thing with me old bike...and Rich pretty much nailed it.....unless it's from K-Tel, a gift is a gift....end of.

bb41 touched on it too in a recent post....the younger generation, it's easy come, easy go.....I can't replace a ring me Grandad carried through WWI...it's just not possible...to mi ex-esposa it's just $200 or whatever she got for it....frankly, I'm disgusted....I just couldn't do that to someone.

[Kwacky]

What's the question?

[bb41]

I'm very much in agreement and have many things from my grandparents that I particularly don't like but would never ever consider giving them away or selling them.

This will be the last Xmas with my Mum as she has terminal cancer and is fading fast. We have gone through in detail about how things should be done and it's always been the same for a very good reason. Any legacy is left directly to the children if there is no other parent. Second spouses don't count or in my case just me.

There are a few token things that are left to my girls as over the years they have remarked that they particularly like something but as I am the sole survivor from my original family everything she has is left to me apart from charitable donations which she has stipulated in her will.

The reason for this is that when it's my time to join gods waiting room everything I have will be more personal to me and feel that my children and my grand child will feel a lot more closer to the meaning behind what ever is bequeathed so down the years hopefully family heirlooms will stay in the family.

I made my will a long time ago and when my circumstances change I update it , I can't understand why people don't do it, once it's done it's put away and I know that my possessions will go to the right people no matter how small.

[Deegee]

It's a social taboo to sell a gifted heirloom that has particular sentimental meaning to someone else that's alive. However it's just that - a social taboo/convention, the burden is on the giver of the item to ensure the recipient is trustworthy and won't sell or cheapen that item, it doesn't help those others that recognise the intrinsic or emotional value of an item, but that's how it is.

I'm sorry Mary is doing this Darren, but fwiw I lost so many things of sentimental value (including my christening bible) when my marriage broke I had to just put those feelings of betrayal and loss into a "mind box" and lock them away. It still makes my blood boil now if I think about it.

[D41]

Cheers.....it's surprised me dude....and dudette.....Mary is not a bad woman by any stretch, but there's a vehemence to her actions right now that's beyond me.....and in a quiet moment she even admitted "It's not you, it's me...I'm angry all the time".....no sh*t, I'd never have guessed??

I want those rings though....and she's bare-faced lying if she says they've been sold.


bb.....your 2nd spouse comment caught me off-guard......er, help?

[bb41]

my biggest hatred was to my Dad's girlfriend who I didn't know existed and I saw him every week and this is hard to believe but very true. The first time I'd heard of her was when I was taken to the hospital to collect his personal belongings as he died in the street .

She's been with him for 10 years, the then Mr BB41 knew so did my Mum but I didn't. When my Mum and Dad split up after 30 years of marriage he took with him the family bible, it contained my bro's school cards and locks of hair and a bootie from my baby sister and all sorts pressed amongst the pages. It had been handed down from generation to generation and was of no value to her but meant everything to us. My bro died in an accident at 21 and my sister died as a baby so we were both desperate to get it back.

The witch point blank refused and told the court she didn't have it. It was a huge great big tome but there was no way she would give it back .

I will never forgive her but what she had taken from us in a physical item she couldn't steal from our hearts the memories

[D41]

Ahh....understood.....my eldest sister died at 2 (which puts her before my time), and though my Dad moved on, it destroyed my Mom.....those little mementoes T left meant everything......you can't put a value on stuff like that,....your Dad's lass sounds like a heffer.

And I don't get the lying bit.....my "philosophy" (eh?) is always that it's hard enough to get along being honest with each other, let alone lie.