Joke of the day
- Deegee
- Posts: 4206
- Joined: 02 Apr 2014, 11:20
- Your Bike: Daytona 675 & Tiger 900
- Location: Côte d'Essex
- Has thanked: 1046 times
- Been thanked: 967 times
Re: Joke of the day
This is one for Kiwi.
An Aussie guys wife goes missing while they are diving off the West Coast.
He reports the event to the Police, searches fruitlessly himself, and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.
Next morning there's a knock at the door, and he is confronted by a couple of coppers - the old Sarge and a younger Constable.
The Sarge says, “Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but also some good news and maybe some more good news.”
“Well,” says the bloke, “I guess I'd better have the bad news first.”
The Sarge says, “I'm really sorry, mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her at about 10 metres, trapped in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.”
The bloke is naturally very distressed to hear this and breaks down in tears, absolutely sobbing his heart out.
But after a little while he composes himself, and asks what the good news is.
The Sarge says, “Well when we got your wife up, there were quite a few really good-sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.”
He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or five crabs in it.
“Jeez, thanks! They're bloody beauties mate. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so, what's the other possible good news?”
“Well,” the Sarge says, “If you fancy a quick trip out with us, young Bill and I get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again.”
An Aussie guys wife goes missing while they are diving off the West Coast.
He reports the event to the Police, searches fruitlessly himself, and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.
Next morning there's a knock at the door, and he is confronted by a couple of coppers - the old Sarge and a younger Constable.
The Sarge says, “Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but also some good news and maybe some more good news.”
“Well,” says the bloke, “I guess I'd better have the bad news first.”
The Sarge says, “I'm really sorry, mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her at about 10 metres, trapped in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.”
The bloke is naturally very distressed to hear this and breaks down in tears, absolutely sobbing his heart out.
But after a little while he composes himself, and asks what the good news is.
The Sarge says, “Well when we got your wife up, there were quite a few really good-sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.”
He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or five crabs in it.
“Jeez, thanks! They're bloody beauties mate. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so, what's the other possible good news?”
“Well,” the Sarge says, “If you fancy a quick trip out with us, young Bill and I get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again.”
- D41
- Posts: 13015
- Joined: 22 Sep 2014, 11:36
- Your Bike: Triumph Daytona 650.
- Has thanked: 4309 times
- Been thanked: 1137 times
- duke63
- Posts: 15513
- Joined: 22 Oct 2013, 07:34
- Your Bike: Ducati 748/853 & Triumph Street Triple 765RS
- Location: Staffordshire
- Has thanked: 4186 times
- Been thanked: 4133 times
- D41
- Posts: 13015
- Joined: 22 Sep 2014, 11:36
- Your Bike: Triumph Daytona 650.
- Has thanked: 4309 times
- Been thanked: 1137 times
- Kwacky
- Posts: 38721
- Joined: 21 Oct 2013, 21:52
- Your Bike: Brutale 800RR, 1000SX Ninja
- Location: Brum
- Has thanked: 4338 times
- Been thanked: 8389 times
- StMarks
- Posts: 4620
- Joined: 17 Mar 2014, 21:55
- Your Bike: Daytona 675 graphite
- Location: East Riding of Yorkshire
- Has thanked: 932 times
- Been thanked: 1328 times
- D41
- Posts: 13015
- Joined: 22 Sep 2014, 11:36
- Your Bike: Triumph Daytona 650.
- Has thanked: 4309 times
- Been thanked: 1137 times
- duke63
- Posts: 15513
- Joined: 22 Oct 2013, 07:34
- Your Bike: Ducati 748/853 & Triumph Street Triple 765RS
- Location: Staffordshire
- Has thanked: 4186 times
- Been thanked: 4133 times
- duke63
- Posts: 15513
- Joined: 22 Oct 2013, 07:34
- Your Bike: Ducati 748/853 & Triumph Street Triple 765RS
- Location: Staffordshire
- Has thanked: 4186 times
- Been thanked: 4133 times
- D6Nutz
- Posts: 7473
- Joined: 21 Oct 2013, 21:26
- Your Bike: Speed Triple 1200 RS
- Has thanked: 828 times
- Been thanked: 2625 times
- Contact:
Re: Joke of the day
Probably been posted before, but made me smile..
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough - Mario Andretti
If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough - Mario Andretti
- Kwacky
- Posts: 38721
- Joined: 21 Oct 2013, 21:52
- Your Bike: Brutale 800RR, 1000SX Ninja
- Location: Brum
- Has thanked: 4338 times
- Been thanked: 8389 times
Re: Joke of the day
A bloke driving a tractor just drove past shouting "the end is nigh, we're all doomed, we're all going to die"
I think it was Farmer Geddon.
I think it was Farmer Geddon.
- Monty
- Posts: 6715
- Joined: 12 Mar 2014, 07:59
- Your Bike: KTM 690 SMC R
- Location: Peak District
- Has thanked: 2123 times
- Been thanked: 2450 times
- D41
- Posts: 13015
- Joined: 22 Sep 2014, 11:36
- Your Bike: Triumph Daytona 650.
- Has thanked: 4309 times
- Been thanked: 1137 times
- Kwacky
- Posts: 38721
- Joined: 21 Oct 2013, 21:52
- Your Bike: Brutale 800RR, 1000SX Ninja
- Location: Brum
- Has thanked: 4338 times
- Been thanked: 8389 times
- Monty
- Posts: 6715
- Joined: 12 Mar 2014, 07:59
- Your Bike: KTM 690 SMC R
- Location: Peak District
- Has thanked: 2123 times
- Been thanked: 2450 times
- Kwacky
- Posts: 38721
- Joined: 21 Oct 2013, 21:52
- Your Bike: Brutale 800RR, 1000SX Ninja
- Location: Brum
- Has thanked: 4338 times
- Been thanked: 8389 times
- D41
- Posts: 13015
- Joined: 22 Sep 2014, 11:36
- Your Bike: Triumph Daytona 650.
- Has thanked: 4309 times
- Been thanked: 1137 times
Re: Joke of the day
Monty wrote:
NO.
FCUKING.
WAY!!!!!
Tell me where you found that pic...where is it sourced from?? This popped up on an MTB forum on SoCal awhile back....maybe two years ago??
That's up on some road connecting two parts of Santiago Oaks Regional Park in Orange/Anaheim Hills....we showed up on MTB's and helped the douchebag on the left pop the car back up after we got the lady out....guy was a bit of a prick...think he was the grandson, or sommit.
That old guy rocks!!
- Monty
- Posts: 6715
- Joined: 12 Mar 2014, 07:59
- Your Bike: KTM 690 SMC R
- Location: Peak District
- Has thanked: 2123 times
- Been thanked: 2450 times
- D41
- Posts: 13015
- Joined: 22 Sep 2014, 11:36
- Your Bike: Triumph Daytona 650.
- Has thanked: 4309 times
- Been thanked: 1137 times
Re: Joke of the day
LOL!!!
Seriously....the prickish dude was like "Grandpa, how many times have I told you it's time to quit driving?"...The guy didn't even blink... "I just did". I cadged a ciggy off the lass on the right.
What a small world it is.
Seriously....the prickish dude was like "Grandpa, how many times have I told you it's time to quit driving?"...The guy didn't even blink... "I just did". I cadged a ciggy off the lass on the right.
What a small world it is.