Season Greetings,
It snowed last night...
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by on her way to the shops and demanded to know why I chose to make a snowMAN, and not a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman too.
8:17 - The feminist neighbor, returning from the shops, complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the fur hat and woollen scarf I had adorned my figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because my snow couple are white.
8:31 - The Mullah and his cronies from our local mosque got wind, and turned up demanding the snow woman be covered up,
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - My feminist neighbour complained again, that the the snow woman's broomstick needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from BBC showed up. I was asked by their stunning reporter if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? Trying to diffuse the atmosphere, and impress her, I smiled and flippantly replied "
Snowballs". - I am now branded a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
By noon it had all melted,
Moral: This fuss all happened entirely because of snowflakes.
![Nodding (nod)](./images/smilies/emoticon-0144-nod.gif)