The joys of family arguments
Posted: 24 Aug 2015, 14:07
Apologies for the rant, but I need to vent my spleen.
My parents divorced when I was 17. My dad found someone a couple of years later and they go married. My step-mum has 3 daughters, the eldest is a couple of weeks younger than me. I get on with the eldest and middle step daughter, I don't see the youngest, who is a bit of an oddball.
My dad has a habit of falling out with people and then refusing to try and make amends. He's disowned my elder sister years ago, before my parents split and about 8 years ago he had a falling out with my brother. In the last 4 years my brother has had to deal with testicular cancer and he's been gifted with a beautiful baby girl, who celebrated her 2nd birthday last weekend. No contact at all from my old man for either event. I told my dad about them but nothing.
Every Friday my dad picks my son (Alex, 9) and daughter (Georgina, 12) from school. This is his idea, we've never asked him to do it. My old man has been doing it for a few years and always seems to enjoy spending time with his grandchildren.
My step mum is nice enough. We've never bonded though. She's one of those classic middle class types who does loads of work for various charities and likes to be seen doing her thing in the community. I'm not having a pop, I think it's a great way to spend your time.
Over the last few weeks my dad has been moaning about his wife. She's got fibromyalgia, so has been spending loads of time in bed or resting. I've not seen her for months.
A few weeks ago step-mum proposed taking my two kids away for a week to a holiday camp. Great idea. It gives me and Mrs Kwacky a few days rest and not having to worry about child minders. It also means Mrs Kwacky can see her father without the kids. He's really not well.
Last Thursday I took my dad out for a meal. Nice meal, we had a chat about the world and life. It did strike me as odd that he seems to have had several disagreements with a few neighbours over the last few weeks, but I didn't think too much of it until the next day when things kicked off.
During the meal it turned out that my dad didn't know the full details of this holiday. Step mum had taken her middle daughter's daughter, Lola. Lola is a great kid and both of mine get on with her.
She had also taken another lad, Lucas. He's younger than Georgie but older than Alex. He's had a shit upbringing and he's borderline autistic. Alex and Georgie know him from school. They're not pals.
So you've got a retired old women with fibromyalgia looking after 4 young kids for a week.
In a one bedroom apartment.
My dad didn't know about the room, the extra child or that kid's requirements for his autism.
My son likes his sleep, he's in bed by 8 despite his age and he's up at 6.30am every morning. Georgie and Alex get on well and they look for each other.
Last Friday I'm home and my dad drops the kids off. My kids have both got faces on them. My old man looks angry.
I send the kids off to their rooms and tell them to unpack.
Now remember, my dad hasn't been away on holiday.
I ask him what's wrong.
According to dad, my son is rude, aggressive, a bully disrespectful, a fussy eater and ungrateful.
My daughter is bossy, rude, ignorant and argumentative.
Both of my kids failed to show any manners, both of them refused food, Georgie mothered Alex, Alex used his taekwondo to bully the other kids, both of them bullied Lucas, neither of them said thank you to their grandmother for the holiday and Georgie argued with her all the time.
That sounds nothing like my kids.
So I had a chat with both of them.
From their version of things, if they were offered food and said they didn't like it, they were told to go without.
All 4 kids were sent off to go swimming, on their own (Georgie at 12 is the oldest)
the two boys had to sleep in the living room on sofa beds, but my step mum stayed up until at least 11 every night - now I will concede that Alex can be stroppy when he's not had enough sleep.
Georgie was upset because she wasn't allowed to call home to find out how her granddad was - last she heard he was back in hospital.
Alex told me that they had been out in the car and Step mum pulled up outside of a sweet shop. Nanny told him he could buy some fudge, he said he didn't like fudge but would look in the shop. As he was talking he was getting out of the car, she sped off. he almost fell out.
I know my kids. I know when they're lying. Both of them were in tears when they were telling me about last week. It also turns out that when they got back to my dad's last week, he locked all 4 kids in the front room. He then listened to what they were saying and stormed in having another go at them, telling them they were rude and that they were "lucky to be here" (no idea what that means).
In the meantime we sent flowers and a card to my step mum to thank her for last week and to apologise if our children upset her. Nothing in response.
Having seen the way my dad has dumped by siblings I suspect I'm next on the list. He was due to have them one day this week but I was told that he can't face them after what they've done.
I'm lost for words. I'm not sure if he's being manipulated by his wife, if he's doing all he can to wipe out his history or if he's showing the early signs of dementia, which his old man had.
tl;dr - my old man thinks my kids are the spawn of satan
My parents divorced when I was 17. My dad found someone a couple of years later and they go married. My step-mum has 3 daughters, the eldest is a couple of weeks younger than me. I get on with the eldest and middle step daughter, I don't see the youngest, who is a bit of an oddball.
My dad has a habit of falling out with people and then refusing to try and make amends. He's disowned my elder sister years ago, before my parents split and about 8 years ago he had a falling out with my brother. In the last 4 years my brother has had to deal with testicular cancer and he's been gifted with a beautiful baby girl, who celebrated her 2nd birthday last weekend. No contact at all from my old man for either event. I told my dad about them but nothing.
Every Friday my dad picks my son (Alex, 9) and daughter (Georgina, 12) from school. This is his idea, we've never asked him to do it. My old man has been doing it for a few years and always seems to enjoy spending time with his grandchildren.
My step mum is nice enough. We've never bonded though. She's one of those classic middle class types who does loads of work for various charities and likes to be seen doing her thing in the community. I'm not having a pop, I think it's a great way to spend your time.
Over the last few weeks my dad has been moaning about his wife. She's got fibromyalgia, so has been spending loads of time in bed or resting. I've not seen her for months.
A few weeks ago step-mum proposed taking my two kids away for a week to a holiday camp. Great idea. It gives me and Mrs Kwacky a few days rest and not having to worry about child minders. It also means Mrs Kwacky can see her father without the kids. He's really not well.
Last Thursday I took my dad out for a meal. Nice meal, we had a chat about the world and life. It did strike me as odd that he seems to have had several disagreements with a few neighbours over the last few weeks, but I didn't think too much of it until the next day when things kicked off.
During the meal it turned out that my dad didn't know the full details of this holiday. Step mum had taken her middle daughter's daughter, Lola. Lola is a great kid and both of mine get on with her.
She had also taken another lad, Lucas. He's younger than Georgie but older than Alex. He's had a shit upbringing and he's borderline autistic. Alex and Georgie know him from school. They're not pals.
So you've got a retired old women with fibromyalgia looking after 4 young kids for a week.
In a one bedroom apartment.
My dad didn't know about the room, the extra child or that kid's requirements for his autism.
My son likes his sleep, he's in bed by 8 despite his age and he's up at 6.30am every morning. Georgie and Alex get on well and they look for each other.
Last Friday I'm home and my dad drops the kids off. My kids have both got faces on them. My old man looks angry.
I send the kids off to their rooms and tell them to unpack.
Now remember, my dad hasn't been away on holiday.
I ask him what's wrong.
According to dad, my son is rude, aggressive, a bully disrespectful, a fussy eater and ungrateful.
My daughter is bossy, rude, ignorant and argumentative.
Both of my kids failed to show any manners, both of them refused food, Georgie mothered Alex, Alex used his taekwondo to bully the other kids, both of them bullied Lucas, neither of them said thank you to their grandmother for the holiday and Georgie argued with her all the time.
That sounds nothing like my kids.
So I had a chat with both of them.
From their version of things, if they were offered food and said they didn't like it, they were told to go without.
All 4 kids were sent off to go swimming, on their own (Georgie at 12 is the oldest)
the two boys had to sleep in the living room on sofa beds, but my step mum stayed up until at least 11 every night - now I will concede that Alex can be stroppy when he's not had enough sleep.
Georgie was upset because she wasn't allowed to call home to find out how her granddad was - last she heard he was back in hospital.
Alex told me that they had been out in the car and Step mum pulled up outside of a sweet shop. Nanny told him he could buy some fudge, he said he didn't like fudge but would look in the shop. As he was talking he was getting out of the car, she sped off. he almost fell out.
I know my kids. I know when they're lying. Both of them were in tears when they were telling me about last week. It also turns out that when they got back to my dad's last week, he locked all 4 kids in the front room. He then listened to what they were saying and stormed in having another go at them, telling them they were rude and that they were "lucky to be here" (no idea what that means).
In the meantime we sent flowers and a card to my step mum to thank her for last week and to apologise if our children upset her. Nothing in response.
Having seen the way my dad has dumped by siblings I suspect I'm next on the list. He was due to have them one day this week but I was told that he can't face them after what they've done.
I'm lost for words. I'm not sure if he's being manipulated by his wife, if he's doing all he can to wipe out his history or if he's showing the early signs of dementia, which his old man had.
tl;dr - my old man thinks my kids are the spawn of satan