Different back story Cav but I'm the same with my mother. Haven't lived with her since I was 2 and was raised by my dad bar a few years he went off the rails and I got farmed out.Cav wrote:Spineless parents that don't deserve the children they have.
<Back story>
4 years ago I moved into my dad's, 2 years ago I moved out. I moved out on bad terms and it had been about 18 months of hell before finally admitting defeat. The reason I left (not the point of this story) was due to my step mum making my life hell and my dad's spine dwindling in size over the period I lived there to the point where anything she said he agreed with - she cried over me using vinegar FFS!
<End of Back story>
After moving out I tried so many times over many months to build bridges with my dad, taking him to the pub or going to the driving range, and every time it failed - because of him and his attitude. There were numerous emails sent back and forth and the very last time we spoke to one another was just before Christmas 2014. His email wrote, I quote, "that's it, I'm throwing the towel in". I didn't reply.
2 years later, having not spoken to each other since the email, he receives a letter addressed to me from the DVLA (I forgot to change address on the V5). He kicks off at his parents who rang me practically in tears in fear of me getting in trouble with the law; they're 70-odd and have more on their plate than they should do at their age and it's made me really fecking peeved.
In the 2 years I lived there I had never cried so much, nor wanted to lash out as much in all my life. However, in the last 2 years I've developed so much as a person; I've seeked councelling and therapy and started what I call "Project Cav" (working on myself and being who I want to be).
I am better without him and he is now just Neal.
She drifted back into my life at around 20 and it was a painful experience at every interaction. 4 years ago I told her to be more involved in my kids life that PayPal transfers to me to buy them presents at birthdays or don't bother at all. Never a card or a phone call ( she has never met them, despite me taking them over to NZ 3 times. Always had an excuse at the last minute not to show up where we were staying ) and that's the last I heard from her.
My opinion is if people can't be a positive influence in your life then they don't deserve your time. And I'll be f**ked if her rotten life will taint my children in anyway.