Tank Slap - Motorcycle Forum

A recent survey found statically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

I was wndering when id see the results of that survey. Bit annoyed no one else voted my way.

Never mind D6 it the taking part that counts.

Viz Top Tips:

How do you tell the difference between an English Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish police officer?
QUESTION: You're on duty by yourself (don't ask why, you just are, and your Sergeant hates you) walking on a deserted street late at night. Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you. You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do ?
ANSWER:
British Police Officer:
Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.
1) Does the man look poor or oppressed ?
2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law ?
3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger ?
4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack ?
5) Am I dressed provocatively ?
6) Could I run away ?
7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand ?
Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings ?
9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society ?
10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me ?
11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me ?
12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself ?
13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home ?
Canadian Police Officer:
BANG !
American Police Officer:
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
'Click'...Reload...
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
Glasgow Police Officer:
"Haw, Jimmie.. Drop the knife, noo, unless you want it stuck up yer arse!"

On the way into work this morning I found a suitcase with some fox cubs in it.

I called the RSPCA who asked me if the cubs were moving.

I supose that explains the suitcase.

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNcFKOsaDYI[/video]

I really don't trust my doctor.

I went to see him the other day to tell him I'm suffering from bulemia.

He gave me one tablet and told me to take it 3 times a day.

Went to the new Asda today

When I was ready to check out and pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note so I could complain to my local MP about this unnecessary security rubbish, I did just as she instructed.

After the shrieking and hysteria finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should position my credit card.

Nonetheless, I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions a little more clear.

At merry hill odeon I think, Halloween scare video:

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOopzkOBddk[/video]



the last few are especially worth it on the second video.
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFQJh-7Yr-E[/video]

Nicking that

A guy pulls up at the stop street. Next to him is a stunning woman.
He grins sheepishly at her, and she smiles back at him.
Dude rolls down his window, and the lass leans over and rolls hers down as well.
Still grinning, he asks " Did you also just fart in the car?"

So, it's the start of the World Cup today... Or as the people of Scotland know it... Thursday.

Tony blair saying he's not responsible for the mess in Iraq

Kwacky wrote:Tony blair saying he's not responsible for the mess in Iraq

Thats joke of the century