Joke of the day
- duke63
- Posts: 15502
- Joined: 22 Oct 2013, 07:34
- Your Bike: Ducati 748/853 & Triumph Street Triple 765RS
- Location: Staffordshire
- Has thanked: 4181 times
- Been thanked: 4133 times
- kiwikrasher
- Posts: 8892
- Joined: 17 Mar 2014, 04:32
- Your Bike: ‘16 Thruxton R. '10 Multistrada 1200 S.
- Location: Kurrajong Heights, NSW, Australia
- Has thanked: 4609 times
- Been thanked: 4690 times
Re: Joke of the day
ME: *Types Password*
INTERNET: [Incorrect Password]
ME: *Retypes Password*
INTERNET: [Incorrect Password]
ME: *Resets Password*
INTERNET: [This Is Already Your Password]
ME: *Screams*
INTERNET: [Please Enter Password]
INTERNET: [Incorrect Password]
ME: *Retypes Password*
INTERNET: [Incorrect Password]
ME: *Resets Password*
INTERNET: [This Is Already Your Password]
ME: *Screams*
INTERNET: [Please Enter Password]
Happiness is not a destination. It is a way of life.
- duke63
- Posts: 15502
- Joined: 22 Oct 2013, 07:34
- Your Bike: Ducati 748/853 & Triumph Street Triple 765RS
- Location: Staffordshire
- Has thanked: 4181 times
- Been thanked: 4133 times
- Stonesie
- Posts: 2367
- Joined: 11 Jun 2014, 21:43
- Your Bike: BMW R1250GSA
- Has thanked: 1392 times
- Been thanked: 1469 times
- duke63
- Posts: 15502
- Joined: 22 Oct 2013, 07:34
- Your Bike: Ducati 748/853 & Triumph Street Triple 765RS
- Location: Staffordshire
- Has thanked: 4181 times
- Been thanked: 4133 times
- Monty
- Posts: 6714
- Joined: 12 Mar 2014, 07:59
- Your Bike: KTM 690 SMC R
- Location: Peak District
- Has thanked: 2121 times
- Been thanked: 2448 times
- StMarks
- Posts: 4606
- Joined: 17 Mar 2014, 21:55
- Your Bike: Daytona 675 graphite
- Location: East Riding of Yorkshire
- Has thanked: 926 times
- Been thanked: 1323 times
- D41
- Posts: 12981
- Joined: 22 Sep 2014, 11:36
- Your Bike: Triumph Daytona 650.
- Has thanked: 4302 times
- Been thanked: 1132 times
Re: Joke of the day
???????
Goes from what looks like a solar eclipse to Lemmy (who was normally "eclipsed" in a different way)????
Goes from what looks like a solar eclipse to Lemmy (who was normally "eclipsed" in a different way)????
- Monty
- Posts: 6714
- Joined: 12 Mar 2014, 07:59
- Your Bike: KTM 690 SMC R
- Location: Peak District
- Has thanked: 2121 times
- Been thanked: 2448 times
Re: Joke of the day
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-47873592" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Monty™© MCMLXXII
- StMarks
- Posts: 4606
- Joined: 17 Mar 2014, 21:55
- Your Bike: Daytona 675 graphite
- Location: East Riding of Yorkshire
- Has thanked: 926 times
- Been thanked: 1323 times
- D41
- Posts: 12981
- Joined: 22 Sep 2014, 11:36
- Your Bike: Triumph Daytona 650.
- Has thanked: 4302 times
- Been thanked: 1132 times
- kiwikrasher
- Posts: 8892
- Joined: 17 Mar 2014, 04:32
- Your Bike: ‘16 Thruxton R. '10 Multistrada 1200 S.
- Location: Kurrajong Heights, NSW, Australia
- Has thanked: 4609 times
- Been thanked: 4690 times
Re: Joke of the day
D41 wrote:I still don't know what the connection to Lemmy is????
Happiness is not a destination. It is a way of life.
- D41
- Posts: 12981
- Joined: 22 Sep 2014, 11:36
- Your Bike: Triumph Daytona 650.
- Has thanked: 4302 times
- Been thanked: 1132 times
- kiwikrasher
- Posts: 8892
- Joined: 17 Mar 2014, 04:32
- Your Bike: ‘16 Thruxton R. '10 Multistrada 1200 S.
- Location: Kurrajong Heights, NSW, Australia
- Has thanked: 4609 times
- Been thanked: 4690 times
Re: Joke of the day
It doesn’t matter who is in the picture, it could be Kermit the frog and the joke still stands.D41 wrote:Helpful.
Researchers recently photographed a black hole. The photo looks like a close up of the end of a cigarette.
As a budding comedian you must know having to explain a joke kinda kills it.
Happiness is not a destination. It is a way of life.
- D41
- Posts: 12981
- Joined: 22 Sep 2014, 11:36
- Your Bike: Triumph Daytona 650.
- Has thanked: 4302 times
- Been thanked: 1132 times
Re: Joke of the day
"Budding comedian...BUDDING COMEDIAN "????
The very nerve of some people.
TBH.....I went off on a tangent with Black hole - Masters Of The Universe (song) - Hawkwind - Lemmy (played bass with Hawkwind for a while, I think).
Stuff like that.
The very nerve of some people.
TBH.....I went off on a tangent with Black hole - Masters Of The Universe (song) - Hawkwind - Lemmy (played bass with Hawkwind for a while, I think).
Stuff like that.
- kiwikrasher
- Posts: 8892
- Joined: 17 Mar 2014, 04:32
- Your Bike: ‘16 Thruxton R. '10 Multistrada 1200 S.
- Location: Kurrajong Heights, NSW, Australia
- Has thanked: 4609 times
- Been thanked: 4690 times
Re: Joke of the day
Well I know you’ve done some stand up and your jokes on here? .... I’ll just be polite. So unless you’ve recently gone on tour....I’ll stick to “budding”D41 wrote:"Budding comedian...BUDDING COMEDIAN "????
The very nerve of some people.
TBH.....I went off on a tangent with Black hole - Masters Of The Universe (song) - Hawkwind - Lemmy (played bass with Hawkwind for a while, I think).
Stuff like that.
Happiness is not a destination. It is a way of life.
- Stonesie
- Posts: 2367
- Joined: 11 Jun 2014, 21:43
- Your Bike: BMW R1250GSA
- Has thanked: 1392 times
- Been thanked: 1469 times
- duke63
- Posts: 15502
- Joined: 22 Oct 2013, 07:34
- Your Bike: Ducati 748/853 & Triumph Street Triple 765RS
- Location: Staffordshire
- Has thanked: 4181 times
- Been thanked: 4133 times
- Stonesie
- Posts: 2367
- Joined: 11 Jun 2014, 21:43
- Your Bike: BMW R1250GSA
- Has thanked: 1392 times
- Been thanked: 1469 times
- kiwikrasher
- Posts: 8892
- Joined: 17 Mar 2014, 04:32
- Your Bike: ‘16 Thruxton R. '10 Multistrada 1200 S.
- Location: Kurrajong Heights, NSW, Australia
- Has thanked: 4609 times
- Been thanked: 4690 times
Re: Joke of the day
The query:
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.
Good Luck
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.
Good Luck
Happiness is not a destination. It is a way of life.