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Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 14:09
by Cavetroll87
Got an odd question and dont want to offend anyone so apologies If I do but as you know one of my colleagues was terminally ill and sadly passed away. All very sudden. We have been told when the funeral is but Im really not sure If I should go or not.

Part of me really feels like I should to say goodbye and I suppose be there for them one last time but then the other part of me thinks we only worked together so in the grand scheme of things I didnt know her THAT well and I would feel like im intruding on her familys very personal moment which feels a bit strange to me.

Any of you guys have any thoughts on this?

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 14:15
by Mac
Off the top of my head I would say that a large contingent of co-workers at her funeral would let her family know that she was loved/well respected at work as well as at home.

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 14:15
by Kwacky
It's not an odd question.

How large is the company you work for? If it's a small family run thing then I would recommend going. If you really don't want to go send a card ahead of the funeral and say you'll cover things at work.

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 14:17
by Cavetroll87
thanks Guys, Problem is I think Id be the only one going, were a very small office, only 5 of us including her, and the boss just freaked out and said she just cant deal with funerals, fair enough I suppose, and the others are undecided, I kinda think I'll just see what they do, I sent a card anyway just saying how sorry I was.

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 14:19
by Kwacky
I think someone from work should go. It would be rude for someone not to represent the firm. Someone should attend the service then make their excuses. I don't think that would be seen as an intrusion.

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 14:20
by Mac
With an office that small, I'd definitely go especially if you're the only one. It may be uncomfortable to you, but would be a solace to the family IMO.

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 14:23
by duke63
Go.

Seeing lots of people at a funeral does make it a little easier for the family.

If they don't want anyone but family there then its usually announced as such.

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 14:24
by Cavetroll87
Thanks Guys, great advice as always "bikes to funerals, and everything inbetween, tankslaps got it covered" ;)

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 14:34
by Kwacky
If you do go I expect a selfie of you with a slice of cake.

It's the tankslap way.

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 14:36
by Cavetroll87
The Mrs made a lovely Victoria Sponge Sunday, was Amazing I went out for a ride and got a Bacon Butty and got home to a freshly baked cake, Ill take a selfie tonight with a slice and post it up here ;)

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 14:44
by StMarks
Fwiw I always take the decision about whether or not to attend a funeral, by asking myself;

"Would I expect them to attend my funeral"

I don't attend many funerals.!

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 14:46
by DaytonAndy
Kwacky wrote:If you do go I expect a selfie of you with a slice of cake.

It's the tankslap way.
:D (party)

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 15:43
by Monty
Yesterday I bumped into the father of my neighbour that jumped under a train a few weeks ago. Not met him before but almost the first thing he said was how happy he'd been to see John's friends there.

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 17:00
by Deegee
Unless you didn't get on with them I'd go, as previously said the family feel easier if some people are there from the deceased workplace. It's an odd thing going from work and tbh you won't know if its the right thing to do until afterwards.
The last work funeral I went to, the guy had left our company years previously although we'd been good friends for yrs, I had kept in touch once year or so with him with a phone call or calling into his new place of work (our competitors) for a cuppa with him, his family were over the moon that two (myself and another mate) of his old workmates had taken the trouble to go. I'd thought we'd be ignored but not so, his oldest son in particular was made up.

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 20:04
by Cavetroll87
As promised for kwacky
Image

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 20:16
by Kwacky
top man (y)

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 22:17
by Binno
Man up and go. Even if just for the service. And save me a slice.

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 17 Jun 2014, 22:53
by kiwikrasher
I'd say go, for the same reason most others have mentioned, it will be of comfort to the family. When someone is taken early from you, you just wish their time alive was worthwhile. Workmates who are not obligated to show up for a funeral, showing up, helps to show she was "worth your while".

A work mate of mine died at 20 while I was in the Air Force, we had his funeral in the hanger. I still remember his parents saying how proud they were that he had made so many great friends through his work.

My 5 cents (or pence for you lot :) )

Re: Strange Question

Posted: 18 Jun 2014, 09:19
by Cavetroll87
Cheers for all the advice guys, told the people at work Im gunna go and I think that was what they wanted to hear as they decided to come too so worked out for the best (well everyone apart from the boss but shes mental)