Its got to me !!!

[Spudda]

I coach Spudlet 1's footie team but the manager, as he's going through a divorce hasn't been as a few of the Saturday morning matches so I've been doing the two roles which pretty much go hand in hand

I get respect from the team and get on with the parents as I'm fair on the kids and any criticism is constructive and I help and try and advise where ever possible.

One thing I do do on a Saturday morning is to have a good 5 minute chat with the ref regarding his approach and their rulings and I also go out of my way by saying good morning to the oppositions parents and have a little bit of pre match banter.

I normally coach/manage on the opposite side to the parents of both teams but due another game being played close to the touchline where I would have been normally, I was asked to go and stand on the same side as the parents .... the banter had already started.

Its fair to say that our 17yr old ref didn't have the best of starts by allowing 2 offside decisions to play on which resulted in 2 goals in 3 minutes to the other team .... Me being me questioned the decisions on both occasions which the ref acknowledged but this one parent of my team wouldn't let it lie.

He kept on at the ref and every time I picked something up, he would hear what I was saying and carry on for me to a level where even the other parents of my team were telling him to shut up and grow up

Anyway, 4 minutes before half time, he was asked to leave the playing area otherwise he'd be reported ... he refused ... he was asked again ... he refused ... I reminded him of the 'Respect Consent Form' he signed before the start of the season which allows his son to play. Part of this consent form explains that any reported misconduct could result in a £100 fine for the offender. With this he went off back to his car

The game came to an end and as the teams and coaching staff were congratulating each other, he back from the car to confront the ref. He was quickly lead away by the other parents until one of my other parents said quite flippantly about him calming down .... it kicked off

Anyway once he'd been led away I'm still there an hour later discussing the incident with the Home teams Secretary, Chairman, FA Respect Spokesman and the ref all of which are going to file a report

This was first thing this morning and I'm still seething .... if it wasn't for Spudlet No1 then I would jack it in but he's having a good, consistent season and is captain of the team

[Frankie]

Ah mate that sucks, i don't think some people really stop to think what their actions can do in terms of the ripple effect. As for you doing what you do, and I know this is easy to say than do, and believe me I am going through some soul searching along the same lines right now!

But you have to take deep breaths and put it down to one incident that is not going to ruin your whole season, you enjoy what you do and, this one episode should not cause you to pull out. After all with everything going on in your life right now this, even with the trauma must be giving you some release and distraction (if you know what I mean by it). Chalk it up to another one of lifes learning curves. I am sure you have the support from the other around you to keep doing the cracking job you are, don't let one hot head steal your enjoyment. I think I need to read this myself and take some advice from it ha ha

Chin up mate

[Kwacky]

Don't let an idiot ruin it for you or anyone else. Keep up the good work.

[Blade]

What Kwacky says. Its easier said than done but just try and put it behind you and not let it spoil things. Its not isolated to football gobby idiots are everywhere unfortunately just don't give them the time of day.

[duke63]

Yep what Keacky said. No doubt the parent involved will be banned by the FA from football for some considerable time. I remember back to my Sunday League days and how seriously this was taken at local level and how much power the FA possess at all levels of football.

[D41]

LOL @ "gobby idiots"!!

I think you did right mate, and exercised more than enough patience by thesound of it....it's nearly always the parents, I've only ever seen one of Mattys ballgames where the other team were just plain abusive....never seen that before. Our kids just blew it off as they were 14-0 ahead when the opposing coach pulled his team off the field....."You guys won't let us score!!"....well, that's kind of the bloody point!
As for refs & umps...they're gonna make mistakes...I say just roll with it...they're usually volunteering or doing it for a tenner.

[C00kiemonster]

So difficult not to rise to idiots like that. Far too many people have lost perspective these days. Maintain yours and you win straight away.

I don't have much experience of such things, but you can only ensure everyone files a report and the knob gets banned.

Good on you for doing all this for the kids. They all need people like you to give them encouragement and opportunities.

[kiwikrasher]

Spudda, bloody good on you for keeping your cool and staying professional. Not only have you maintained your dignity and reputation you have just shown a whole team of boys a valuable lesson in the right way to conduct yourself. Huge kudo's mate.

Myself, I'd have lost it

[Rossgo]

I was a coach and we had a parent who was really bad. 1 game he wanted to square up with me and to be honest I wouldn't of said no about decking the barstard there and then!! Me and the manager had to talk to someone to ask if we could ban him from games and training! It had got that bad he wouldn't let anything down. The team were a doddle compared to the parents!! Little did they realise we coached the team to being number 1 in league and cup, teaching them how to play and looking out for those passes when before they were bottom of everything!

The main thing is you enjoy it and the team enjoy you giving up your time. Let the report go in and ban from games. Just because it isn't work doesn't mean he can get away with crap like that