Brilliant.! 
I wonder if they taste like chicken.?Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
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StMarks
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D41
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kiwikrasher
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
And that is pretty accurate… they are nasty mofo’s.
Commonly referred to in QLD as the murder bird
Commonly referred to in QLD as the murder bird
Last edited by kiwikrasher on 22 Aug 2021, 21:00, edited 1 time in total.
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kiwikrasher
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
No ones been able to catch oneStMarks wrote:
They are a protected species in Australia so I’ve not tried cassowary meat, but I’m guessing it would be similar to emu, very lean and needs to be cooked carefully so it doesn’t go tough.
Cassowary are eaten in Papa New Guinea and is reported to taste like human flesh… which is only a useful comparison in PNG
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D41
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
I thought you were joking about the whole human flesh thing until I did a bit of googling about the good ol' folks down there in Papua.
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kiwikrasher
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
Yeah no jokes. Heard some crazy stories from guys that have done Oil & Gas work over there.D41 wrote:I thought you were joking about the whole human flesh thing until I did a bit of googling about the good ol' folks down there in Papua.
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Cav
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
Rumour has it, Orphanages are the best selling Takeaway in Papa New Guinea
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D41
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
Yep, and I'll bet they do entirely different kind of Shepherd's Pie too.
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
Once a comfort, rain is now ruining Australia's mood https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-63382895
Must be like being in the UK.
Must be like being in the UK.
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kiwikrasher
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
It definitely has been a wet year. But the last couple of weeks at home this break were actually lovely weather, so hopefully La Niña is starting to ease
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StMarks
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
My little baby sister, and my niece, have just landed in Sydney.
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kiwikrasher
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
Well they have timed the weather well indeed! Hope they enjoy their stay!
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StMarks
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
I hope so too. Sis' is only out there 'till just after Xmas.kiwikrasher wrote: Hope they enjoy their stay!
Little niece has a visa and will be staying on to play at working out there. She can ride horses and motorcycles, is fit and smart. I think she has a notion of getting a job working out on one of the livestock ranches.?
I may be biased, but I think she'd fit right in...:
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kiwikrasher
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
Yeah I think so 
If she does hang about, let me know if we can be of assistance at all.
Funnily enough my sister (and her two adult kids) are coming over to visit me from the US next month as well!
If she does hang about, let me know if we can be of assistance at all.
Funnily enough my sister (and her two adult kids) are coming over to visit me from the US next month as well!
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StMarks
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
Thanks mate, I'll unintrusively monitor their stay.
I got a message from them this morning, they're on "a bus to Wellington with a load of rednecks from the outback"
I got a message from them this morning, they're on "a bus to Wellington with a load of rednecks from the outback"
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kiwikrasher
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
Nah they aren’t ‘outback’ yet, just country bogan territory. It gets worse further west
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StMarks
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
Stolen from elsewhere...:
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian tourism website and the answers are the actual response by the website officials who obviously have a great sense of humour.
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Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow ? (UK)
We import all plants fully grown and the just sit around watching them die.
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Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street ? (USA)
Depends how much you've been drinking.
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I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the rail-road tracks ? (Sweden)
Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? (UK)
What did your last slave die of ?
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Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? (USA)
A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the Pacific which does not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA)
Face South and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK)
Why ? Just use your fingers like we do.
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Can you send me the Vienna Boys Choir schedule ? (USA)
Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo racing. Come naked.
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Can I wear high heels in Australia ? (UK)
You are a British politician, right ?
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Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round ? (Germany)
No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
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Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget it's name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population ? (Italy)
Yes, gay night clubs.
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Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (France)
Only at Christmas.
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I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help ? (USA)
Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
---
Will I be able to speak English most places I go ? (USA)
Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian tourism website and the answers are the actual response by the website officials who obviously have a great sense of humour.
---
Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow ? (UK)
We import all plants fully grown and the just sit around watching them die.
---
Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street ? (USA)
Depends how much you've been drinking.
---
I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the rail-road tracks ? (Sweden)
Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
---
Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? (UK)
What did your last slave die of ?
---
Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? (USA)
A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the Pacific which does not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
---
Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA)
Face South and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
---
Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK)
Why ? Just use your fingers like we do.
---
Can you send me the Vienna Boys Choir schedule ? (USA)
Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo racing. Come naked.
---
Can I wear high heels in Australia ? (UK)
You are a British politician, right ?
---
Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round ? (Germany)
No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
---
Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
---
I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget it's name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
---
Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population ? (Italy)
Yes, gay night clubs.
---
Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (France)
Only at Christmas.
---
I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help ? (USA)
Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
---
Will I be able to speak English most places I go ? (USA)
Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
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StMarks
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
FYI my niece is living in Aus' now, and working on a ranch. She went to the Melbourne Races the other weekend.kiwikrasher wrote: ↑10 Nov 2022, 11:55 Nah they aren’t ‘outback’ yet, just country bogan territory. It gets worse further west
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Kwacky
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Stonesie
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Re: Reasons not to go to Australia, part 24753
Drop Bears are real, they just caught that one on the ground.
