Tankslap Surgery

[Cav]

With Frankie going in for surgery soon, I just received a call letting me know I have surgery in 4 weeks too.

I'm just wondering what isolation you need to go through.. all I've been told is 2 weeks self-isolation. I don't know what that means for my Wife as she works in a supermarket. Does she need to move in with her parents for 2 weeks?

[D41]

Tell her yes no matter what.

Seriously... it's saying self-isolation, so I'd assume that just means you all on your lonesome. But it equally could just mean no out-of-home interaction.... which is probably more reasonable to expect.

[Kwacky]

If your wife is mixing with the public then you'll have to isolate on your own. It's bubble time.

[D6Nutz]

My neighbor went in for an op a couple of weeks back, they both had to go into complete isolation. Your not even allowed to pop to the shops and I think they prefer that you minimise deliveries as well.



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[Cav]

I'm going to absolutely hate life. I can barely go a day without feeling the emotional need to leave the house. Work have okay'd me to work from home for that time. I presume they'll be fine with me working from home for the following 2 weeks while I recover too. I'll have to as one of the guys is leaving end of September and I need to do handovers with him

[Kwacky]

You can leave the house but you can't come into contact with anyone

[Frankie]

Your GP or consultant or Hospital will make sure you are up to speed with everything you can and cant do. In triplicate.
For me, i had the pre surgery chat, sign all responsibility of others away, then get told I will get a call to go for a covid test. prior to this I have the date for the op, so I must isolate for 14 days before this date.
Went for covid test, never got out the car, told to keep isolated. Got results next day.

Went to Hospital yesterday, again went through the same questions and covid info, with four different members of staff. Again sighing away the responsibility of anyone else if things go pear shaped!

I have to say the service I got was 100% professional and extremely polite, i cannot fault the staff at all. *Heatherwood Hospital - Ascot* NHS.

So after paperwork done, off to the surgical theatre. So on with the gown and special knickers lol.... and off for a walk.

Good old chat about photography, work, the weather, introduced to them all lol....
Feeling the cold fluid going into my hand, listening to the ping machine, and me trying my deep breathing exercises to make it ping slower and faster.... LOL....
The next thing I know, someone is saying "Frankie wake up" Ha ha ha ha.... I shit you not, I have never felt such relief in my entire life, and being thankful for being alive, and having this trauma dealt with.

Then its back to the ward to chill, I did not eat or drink, until i was told, until I pee I cant go home. Three cups of tea later and gallons of water later lol..... yep could not stop then.

So bad night last night, not really slept, lots of pain now, so plenty of pills to take plus other stuff I need. I will try to kip now.

[Cav]

Happy days. Glad all went well for you buddy! I had real trouble going to wee after my bone graft. It was my first time on morphine and it resulted in me hallucinating while they were waking me up with a dangerous core body temperature. It was quite funny in hindsight.

I've been told I'll be in overnight. I'm expecting LOTS of pain and not to walk for 2 weeks minimum.

Do you mind me asking what surgery you had?

[Jack]

Do you mind me asking what surgery you had?

He tells lies, it was gender reassignment

[D41]

Yep...I think "special knickers" was the giveaway.

[duke63]

Do you mind me asking what surgery you had?

He tells lies, it was gender reassignment

Frankie is now a man!

[Frankie]

Do you mind me asking what surgery you had?

He tells lies, it was gender reassignment

Frankie is now a man!

And we will leave it at that

[Kwacky]

Frankie had his goatse stitched up so his partner can touch the sides

[Frankie]

Stop it ! I'll bust my stitches

[Cav]

My Wife has to self isolate with me or move out for the 14 days. She's seeing what she can do with work. If she doubles all her shifts she'll accrue enough time in lieu to take the time off with me without losing pay. Failing that she has to take holiday or lose pay.

[D41]

Things I wished I had not Googled.....

1. "goatse"

[Cav]

Is that how it's spelled? I thought it was gooch

[D41]

Close.
If I'm reading it right, it seems "Goatse" was the name of an internet shock-site that had a pic of a man spreading his er, anus...to the size of a grapefruit....why he would do that is anyone's guess.

"Gooch" is slang for the no-man's-land strip between the anus and the testicles.

[duke63]

Close.
If I'm reading it right, it seems "Goatse" was the name of an internet shock-site that had a pic of a man spreading his er, anus...to the size of a grapefruit....why he would do that is anyone's guess.

"Gooch" is slang for the no-man's-land strip between the anus and the testicles.

Sounds like you have spent all day researching those websites very closely, D41.

[D41]

Gooch I knew already....the other one is something you can't Ungoogle, unfortunately.