Work/life balance

[C00kiemonster]

They want me back in for an informal chat. Whatever that means.

I had a few of those. For me it usually meant what money did i want and would they secure my services if they offered.

I hope it goes well

[Kwacky]

They can try to ambush me but I'm trained in several forms of bullshit.

[bb41]

work /life balance is very hard and regret most of my decisions especially being a single mother literally dragging up my two and having a career by default
I was back at my desk the day after giving birth and although I didn't have child care , I worked as much as possible round the kids school. I was always there to take them to and pick them up most of the time or I'd arrange with my friends who were in the same boat and who's children were friends as well (although I do confess to sending them to school a day before term started, ) I admit I didn't give them my full attention a lot of the time as work seemed to always be at the front of my thoughts.
I changed from an office to home office but that was even worse as I could work constantly ..and did
I only come to my senses about 10 years ago , but a bit late for my children as they'd both already grown up. I decided quality over quantity and decided enough was enough and quit ..a massive financial drop (I don't do things by halves)
I kept a couple of small things going but nothing on the scale I was doing and live on a small income and using my capital as I'd fear the stress would kill me if I carried on much more
Trouble is work can and probably will take over due to pressure and regret very much and can't make my children young again .
Only you know whether the extra financial benefit will allow you to gain extra quality time, but in my experience children will always want you around with less of the glittery bits rather than you elsewhere be it physically or mentally with all that the financial benefits could bring .
If it's working for you as a family now why change it ? The saying " if only I knew then what I know now" always weighs heavily
I'm sure you will make the right choice for you and yours

[Kwacky]

Thanks BB41. You are right. Both of my parents worked long hours. My dad would often be out of the house for 14 hours a day when there was a show going on (he was based at the Royal Agricultural Centre) and my mum would often have a second job to pay for the extra stuff like holidays.

I didn't see them much when I was young. By my pre-teens I was pretty much into a routine of doing my own thing.

It's catch 22. I'm bored shitless at work, I don't have enough to do, I'm not progressing and the work I do get to do is well below what I'm capable of. Do they kids want a dad around who is pissed off, lethargic and frustrated all the time? This week so far I reckon I've seen my kids for about 2 hours in total. My daughter is either at dance or she's revising for her GCSEs. My son is on his playstation or watching youtube videos.

But I am there for them if I need them.

Anyway, as I've said before, I'm jumping the gun. I haven't been offered a job and if I am I don't know what's expected of me. I may have read too much into the comments made at the last interview or I may have been given a warning about how busy they are.

[C00kiemonster]

They can try to ambush me but I'm trained in several forms of bullshit.

Several?

[Kwacky]

The exact number is a secret I will take with me to my grave )

[bb41]

You sound like a caring Dad and I'm sure you will find a solution, I was self sufficient from a young age due to parents working and on the flip side he didn't do me any harm... it's only when you lose both parents you wish you had more memories

[Kwacky]

At present I'm thinking it's going to take a substantial pay rise to get me to switch jobs. If they want me to do more they have to pay me more.

I have got a performance review with my boss next week. I'll have my say about how pissed off I am.

[Kwacky]

They’ve offered me a job. Going in as a manager, which is one level below partner. 5% pay rise, which is a bit meh.

I told them I want to see a proper job description. I also told them that I’m settled at leaving at 4.30. They did say I could change my hours after I had completed my probation. When I said I needed to think about it she got a bit flappy and told me that if the hours were a reason for me thinking about turning them down then they would do something.

[Cav]

5% pay on top of your £100k is significant

[Cav]

5% pay on top of your £100k is significant

It sounded better in my head.. it's even less beneficial at that level of pay

[Kwacky]

5% pay on top of your £100k is significant

Ha! I wish. There's a reason why I've been driving an 1996 Mazda 323 for so long

[Kwacky]

Well was a bit more open and honest than I expected.

As Mr Troll pointed out, I could be truthful frank which I was.

I ended up with a genuine apology for her rant a couple of weeks and she accepted she got it wrong.

In turn she was honest with me and told me what bits of my work/working style she doesn't like. She wasn't aware I felt isolated and adrift from the files so she's promised to change that. I've told her what I want in the future with the way we work.

I want some of my own work so I can meet my targets and progress on my own, but not with a view to no longer work on her files - just a handful of cases. She will see what the set up is.

As we were being open I told her about the job offer. She looked shocked and said she didn't want to lose me. I did say I was thinking about it.

I'll wait for the written job offer to come in and then make a decision. I'm flip-flopping at the moment as to which way I want to go.

[Cavetroll87]

its a tough one mate, personal I think id be leaning towards the new challenge, its easy to say things will change from your bosses perspective but if she actually goes through with it is a different thing. I tend to find if you are fed up in a job it doesn't get better but I get your worried about how it will impact your home life which is not something any of us can help with mate. Good Luck with whatever you decide and I'm sure you'll smash it!

[StMarks]

....As we were being open I told her about the job offer. She looked shocked and said she didn't want to lose me. ....

Is that the first time she's indicated that they were considering a new junior partner mate.?

[Kwacky]

Is that the first time she's indicated that they were considering a new junior partner mate.?

No. I'm not in a position to apply for it as I don't get enough client contact. Which is on of my bugbears about the current job. I like meeting people and boring them to death. I don't get to do that here.

[Cav]

I like meeting people and boring them to death. I don't get to do that here.

But you do it here...

[D41]

[Kwacky]

I've turned the job down. I sent them an email thanking them for the opportunity, telling them it wasn't an easy choice to make and that it was simply down to personal reasons for coming to the conclusion I have.

[Cav]

How do you feel now you've made the choice?