Joke of the day

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Joke of the day

Postby Kwacky » 14 Mar 2014, 15:37

The creator of the anagram has died.

May be create penis
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Bratty » 14 Mar 2014, 16:20

Haha I got it


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I get knocked down but i get up again.
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Norfolknchance » 14 Mar 2014, 17:06

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.

This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, 'Probably golfing with his mates.’
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Norfolknchance » 19 Mar 2014, 14:52

CH 4 Are filming a documentary about white & ethnic women discussing how they deal with their monthly periods .It`s going to be called "The Black & White Menstrual Show".

and quickly legs it out the door.
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Norfolknchance » 19 Mar 2014, 15:01

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son..
He gives the young boy three 10p coins to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face.... The father realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back..

The boy coughs up 2 of the 10p's but is still choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants; takes hold of the boy's' testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.. tighter and tighter !!! After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of the 10p's, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "


'No,' the woman replied.....










I'm with the Inland Revenue..'
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Norfolknchance » 19 Mar 2014, 15:05

I've just found a piece of fruit with some tits on it. I've never seen a pear quite like it.
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Godzilla » 25 Mar 2014, 19:09

Oooops:

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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Bratty » 25 Mar 2014, 20:27

Haha it took me a while to get that
I get knocked down but i get up again.
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby kingfixer » 25 Mar 2014, 21:43

Godzilla wrote:Oooops:

Image


(facepalm) (facepalm)
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby duke63 » 25 Mar 2014, 21:50

A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Casper » 26 Mar 2014, 06:38

:D :D
Africa is not for sissies!!!!
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Casper » 02 Apr 2014, 05:17

David Beckham gets into a taxi and notices the driver looking at him in the rear-view mirror.

After a couple of minutes the driver says, "OK, give me a clue."

Beckham says, "I had a glittering career at Manchester United, played in America and got over a 100 caps for England. Is that enough?"

Driver replies, "No, you thick bastard. Where do you want to go?”
Africa is not for sissies!!!!
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Bratty » 02 Apr 2014, 07:05

(rolf)
I get knocked down but i get up again.
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Godzilla » 04 Apr 2014, 22:08

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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Bratty » 04 Apr 2014, 22:21

(rolf)
I get knocked down but i get up again.
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Kwacky » 04 Apr 2014, 22:54

Nicked! :D
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Casper » 07 Apr 2014, 07:25

"STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% IN AN EXAM"



Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of
Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue
Sea what will it become?
* I t will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without
Sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one
Hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four
Oranges in one hand and four apples
And three oranges in other hand, what
Would you have ?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to
Build a wall, how long would it take four
Men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a
Concrete floor without cracking it?
* Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
Africa is not for sissies!!!!
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Bratty » 07 Apr 2014, 07:28

Lol class
I get knocked down but i get up again.
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Norfolknchance » 09 Apr 2014, 10:22

A couple of Santa's reindeer, Rudolph and Blitzen, were not looking forward to having to pull that big heavy sleigh all around the world yet again this year, so they put themselves up for sale on ebay.

Unfortunately, they didn't get one single bid...........coz they were two deer
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Bratty » 09 Apr 2014, 10:25

Sorry mate that's a really bad joke.
I get knocked down but i get up again.
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